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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries.


  2007.11.09  10.53
Overheard at work

Speaker 1: Ok, so I looked at the caselaw and blah blah blah ba..
Speaker 2: So it turns out I'm right.
Speaker 1: Well, see it says blah blah blah...
Speaker 2: (talking over speaker 2's response) Just say it: "Gosh, you were right."
Speaker 1: ya, but, yadda yadda blah blah...
Speaker 2: (sighing, leans back in chair and picks up Daily Journal to read)
Speaker 2: blah blah yadda blah...

Mood: amused

  2007.06.05  11.07
Go figure...

I just picked up my dictaphone and had to seriously consider who is older, it or me.


  2007.05.23  11.06
How to Make a Memory

In true Lenhardt form three members boldly sing out the first word of the song they'd like to sing. Sometimes two voices sing the next word or two but usually one voice will continue with everyone else following suit. I like to hear the voices tuning to each other as we artlessly try to gain the same pitch.

After singing a few phrases I realize I'm holding my sisters hand and it feels just like her hand felt when she was a toddler: warm, strong and just a little squishy-soft in the fingers.

Something in my chest starts to get tight when I realize that I might take a hold and let go of her hand only a few more times before she travels off to grow, independent and strong, without the rest of us.

When the song ends I'll give her hand a squeeze and then I'll have to let it go- not knowing when I get to hold it again.



  2007.03.27  18.35
Time to say goodnight

Tonight I will take the portable dictation machine out of my purse. Tonight I can say goodnight to ten months of work. When I started this work I was brand new to my profession, I had Mockingbird ideas of how it should be, now I have this resigned bitterness about the way things actually are which is to say it has ended just like the book. I’m saying goodnight to a case, a case that is three months older than my own practice and yet it has inexorably defined what I will strive to achieve in the next thirty years of practice.

My secretary Anna said, “But it can’t settle, I want to learn how the story ends.” I told her that this is how litigation ends, in settlement; but the story, it will continue as long as the actors are living so trial wouldn’t end the matter.

But as I finished my document summarizing dictation tonight, as I thanked her for her amazingly dedicated hard work, and when I added, “end of document, end of tape, and just maybe, end of case” I didn’t want to believe my role has ended. I want to continue... to keep street fighting my client out of the alley they were painted in. But they've assessed taken our assesment, they've made a business decision.


  2006.12.21  18.49
ay, law makes you flint, but occasionally you'll find a spark

I was riding to work the other day and along the on-ramp I saw this lady opening her apartment curtains in a window that overlooked the on-ramp. My first thought was, "sucks to be living near an on-ramp." My next thought was, "ooo, I like her drapes, why have I never bought drapes?" My next thought was, "ah, she's probably just waking up and she's lucky to not be out-the-door and down-the-road in-a-suit-and-heels already, she's a lucky lady." Then as she was brushing her drapes aside she locked eyes with me as I inched along the onramp, looking up at her, and it occured to me that she maybe had similar thoughts about me.

I drove on, reflecting at the crisp fluffy clouds in the sky, thinking about how clean they looked. I got off the freeway, was driving down the main street toward my office when I was slowing at a light, when I came across and yellow-lit doughnut shop in a strip mall where I saw a kid standing on his tippy-toes trying to reach over the ledge into a cooler for a sweet. As I was musing about kids and their indominable hope I saw his mother cross the shop in two quick strides, pull him back by his upper-arm and deal him a sound slap across the face as she shook him by the shoulders once so he could fully focus on her while she scolded him. Without realizing the light was green or that I had accelerated away the image slipped out of view.

Today, I was feeling a little world-weary as I drove down the main street near my home. Poor me, I work too hard, things don't sparkle like they used to, I need to be more active... etc, etc. Along this road there are quite a few cluster houses, as I call them, where one driveway servs four to eight dimunitive houses. My understanding from viewing them is that indigent people, who scrape by, live there. As I drove by, a round-faced woman was sitting in her late-model well-worn car waiting to pull out among the steady stream of worker-bee cars buzzing to work. While she was looking toward traffic a man, in his PJ's and slippers trotted into view with a toddler on his shoulders. He jumped in front of this round-faced lady and knelt at her window. Her face lit up with joy as she pumped down the window to press kisses on her son and husband. Without realizing that the light had changed and my slowing should change to acceleration I watched the family as I glided past and watched in my rear-view mirror as the father patted the car's hood and watched his wife enter the stream of cars flowing past his small house.

So far I have no commentary on the justaposition of these two stories, nor do I know the ending for either.


  2006.06.19  14.18
Who knew working could be fun?!

I love estate questions, they're like the question in middle school about the farmer who has to get the goat, a sack of grain, and a dog across the river and there's all these rules which restrict how you can get it done. Estate planning is the same way, how to get the right amount of money to the right person at the right interval in such a way that people cannot contest, spendthrift or be taxed.

It is fun but it's daunting! What if you forget a rule?!


  2006.05.31  09.40
First deposition

Wow, here I am, an attorney (I still don't quite believe it), and taking a deposition in 20 minutes. I've read enough to know how this thing *should* go, I just hope I have the gift of gab to say the right thing.

Some days the perfect words just spring from your lips like you're an orator trained at Lady Fitzsimmons School of Elocution. Other days I stare mutely my brain processing like a circa-1980 apple computer seeking the right word for long enough that I give up, move on, end up not saying what I meant to say and then 5 minutes later remember the word and saying it out loud, just for the practice.

My brain is barking dos and donts to its-self at a manic rate: don't use big words; be firm and slightly aggressive but don't overkill it and come off as a b*tch; don't forget all the admonitions; speak clearly; introduce yourself to all; magically gain repoire with everyone by your presence; cover the issues you outlined; don't say something stupid; don't ask something that will open up the case to more plaintiffs; don't say something stupid, remember nothing stupid.

There is one thought that stills my worries and brings some calm. This is work, today my office is in a conference room. We've all had to overcome whatever annoyances or challenges we had this morning, we're all here and now we have a certain amount of work to do before we get to go home.

Mood: don't ask

  2005.09.29  11.16
I shouldn't be keeping a journal, I'm not supposed to have time

I think there are a lot of things in life that are this way. You like the idea, you'd like to do it, you don't really have the time, at least you don't think you have the time, so you spend a lot of time thinking about what a shame it is you dont have time to do what you think you should be doing.

Sounds like it's time to do it.


  2005.05.26  13.17
The Calm Before A Studying Storm

Today is the half way through the fourth day when I have done absolutely nothing. No inner Jimmy Cricket telling me to get to this or that, instead I have practiced taking time off. I’ve heard that I should be taking this time off because “I deserve it.” I don’t think I deserve it. However, like grace, when I see a good thing offered, I’ll take it. I have a few things planned to get done for the remainder of the day and for Friday.
I think my wakeup call came when I checked my e-mail, something I do, even when I’m trying not to do anything, and got an e-mail from BarBri. It was a page they had inadvertently left out of the in-class workbook. I opened the attachment and printed it out and had almost just stuck it in the proper place in the workbook when I realized that the Con Law section was difficult to find and some color coded stickie tags might help with that problem… then I started to look at the printout… then I started to contemplate mnemonic devices… (yeah I had to look that word up) aye! I’m studying! That’s not supposed to start until next week!
On the scholastic front, I have good news, my first grade was an “A” in Law and Literature. And here I thought an English major can’t apply her skills in law school. I used to think it was so unfair that everyone said you’d use your writing skills when really they meant that your familiarity with writer’s block and writing despair would be revisited weekly. The style and tone and nifty words you used would be jettisoned and you’d have to start over with the added insult of falsely believing you *could* write. What a cruel joke, now I know I should have done political science if I wanted any proper preparation for law school, if such a thing is possible.
Ah, I am so happy to be done with law school, it’s so relieving to be done. From the other two grades I’ve gotten it looks like I’m really done, no cane will come out from behind the curtain and yank me back.
My plan is to create a schedule wherein I run everyday, study hard and have a little fun every day between now and THE 3-DAYS of DESPERADO. Remind me to tell you about my Desperado theory later…

Mood: quixotic

  2005.05.15  18.39
About To Go Public

So here I go, my initial plan with this journal is to try to log my experience as I graduate from law school and then dedicate the next couple months to preparing to take the CA Bar exam. This will likely be filled with diatribes that have nothing to do with average life. However, I do plan on reducing the amount of social time my already introverted-self spends so when people want to check in on how I'm doing this will help out.

Mood: Distracted